Post 17: Dance,sit or fuck off.

Dear Diary,

Why don’t I just step off, why don’t I just step off the ledge and let the beast that dwells within out, seems like it’s the popular choice nowadays. There is a reason I won’t turn, I have control and I have focus, the ramblings on the shadows, is just that ramblings. They Walk around claiming they’re free but they far from free, you know what they are like they’re like a cult…. But yeah ‘free’ you know what pisses me off they’re like a light is to a moth, new people come to the city and flock en masse to this already huge faction, but we carry. I. Carry on cause it is all I can do.



So yeah I had Beans on toast today, one of the many luxuries Angus brings me from the mainland when he drops off new arrivals, I opened the can and let the beans hit the pan there was an instant sizzle, pesti came out wearing a shirt that was about a million sizes too big but it looked good, she asked if she could steal some, I said she could, she ate in her room, I ate on the balcony, watching the world walk by below me. I fucking love stuff ‘on toast’.


I went on Ktox today, and just started mouthing off, I had my beer I had my bro and my girl and we had a good time, it’s been … quiet in the family everyone just keeping themselves to themselves. I do it for attention, the Ktox thing people love listening and I love entertaining them, I Bash the shadows on purpose when in Ktox HQ I know one or more will come and give it the big un. I LOVE it, Kaira and Blueray come in after having become shadows.


Kaira Diesel, that made me somewhat sad, i…. I hate seeing her dancing to they’re beat, but she has made her choice. She starts to speak to collin, trys to attack him, I tell them that its enough “Dance, sit or fuck off!” I say, I cant be dealing with the shit im still not right about Monday, but fuck it.


Blueray Darkes, she was happy drinking dancing, all smiley that she is now back where she belongs, I really don’t care, she can do what she likes I have no time for shadows, bar Pestilence.


So Kaira states that she is going to fuck Collin up after my set and so I decide to text her telling her to leave it and I will try and look out for her prowlers. She smiles at this and sends me a text. She has not fallen all the way, just from reading her reply I won’t put it in these pages out of respect, but I believe she … well.. Fuck it I don’t know … well see.


I sort out the collin/kaira situation and head home; I put my head on the pillow and out I go… cheese on toast tomorrow.

Post 1

Dear Diary,

I found myself in the church today, saw that there was a crowd outside so i investidated. Blueray was waiting for Shea to show and she had brought back up, it always makes me laugh, how the city seems to dance to the beat of the shadows.

It has always irked me that were supposed to be the good guys yet were treated like the bad guys, scum and bible bashers. Fuck it. Stupid mother fuckers. So the Blueray situation is sorted albeit somewhat slopily, she gets put on the cross, seeing her up there was funny for me, shes always the big I AM, its good to see her knocked down a peg or two.

Blueray.... that fucking name... just constantly popping up over and over...this past few weeks....The cyber want back in the shadows its absolutely untrue, always hanging on pieters arm, its almost sad for me, she has potential diary she really does but as she herself as said, and im paraphrasing here.. "shes too far gone..". Nothing i can do, so i wont even try.

So my set on Ktox was eventful, another attempted blowjob from Joenta, A fight in the DJ booth with her, then............... fuck it diary. The second most darkest moment in this fucking city, friends people you trust and you goto for help, turning on you showing you theyre dark side. I lost something tonight.... **the few words before run slightly where his tears have impacted the paper..** I lost something, i lost my will to save this city, what am i fighting for ? What or who needs to be saved? I can still hear that fucking prowler kairas Geers and calls, and lumi.....fucking lumi.. In my darkest moment i was alone, no friends, no help just me in the darkness.

Im done.

**martko closes his diary and places it away**