Post 18: The inner beast?!

Dear Diary,



So Anyhow I get up and me and Collin decide to go crazy loco, we start running around Shaynee Xi from the shadows, being all well, mental. She goes inside and we decide to crip on the Pit roof. We dance, we have a laugh its good just to let go.


We grab a crate of beanie babies… pink elephant beanies to be exact, so we take the create to the bottom of the pit stairs, Shay appears at the top and we hide it, Who knows what we were going to do with those beanies, but were caught red handed Collin vanishes, and leaves me too it.

I create Shay a flower, she seems appreciative of it, Mikayla doesn’t and storms off in a huff, Me and Shay exchange pleasantries till Vitalia appears behind me, the fallen angel who poisoned me to teach me a lesson when I was a feline… A LESSON, oh my god, it gets me mad just thinking about it. It makes me laugh it does, really that they hold all other life in disregard apart from the houses?! What the fuck…. Fuck it any how… Im invited into the pit… Well this is a new one on me, shay invites me in and Mikayla is dangling from some device in the ceiling, she sees me and gets all huffy again and walks off; don’t know what I have done to her but meh im sure shell get over it.


So im in the PIT! It smells, and its hot, not the ideal place, shadows start to surround me, Brianna is the first to join the circle, diary she truly scares the shit out of me, quite literally she is insane to the point that im sure if she put her mind to it she could warp the very fabric of reality around her, quick note not to fuck with her just yet. The Kashgari bops in, Drake, it’s a who’s who of shadows, Shay talks to me about my inner beast they all keep going on about it, they want me to let go, they want me to Go wild, 2 shadows have seen my rage, Blueray and Lumi

--There is a whole paragraph scribbled out, the words not legible at all—

Shay keeps trying to touch me, I fucking hate that, why do they feel the need to touch me, I don’t care for they’re touch I hate the connection I hate the feeling, but obviously she has some sort of deficiency and keeps try, I finally let her and she touches my cheek, she drones on about the shadows finally taking over the city, yeah more fun for me to be honest, bring it on. Shay gives me one week to make a decision I have no idea what that decision is, to release my ‘inner beast’ to join them? Do they not realise that I won’t, that I really am not interested in they house, it doesn’t tempt me in the slightest, but they won’t listen, so here’s a brick wall, keep bashing your head against it.


I DJ later that day and Calleigh and Tikamu the prowler drops by, Tikas a Solid person, some one has taken her eye, I ask if I can be of assistance she declines my offer, then I hand Calleigh a note.

Elemental, monster you are not…..i understand….

She goes very mad I don’t know why, I see now how her life was when she was back a human... Tora arrives and the situation bubbles down … when I finish my set I goto bed……….. Sleep…. Even my sleep is invaded by darkness… regret… and…. Cheese on toast… MMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Post 17: Dance,sit or fuck off.

Dear Diary,

Why don’t I just step off, why don’t I just step off the ledge and let the beast that dwells within out, seems like it’s the popular choice nowadays. There is a reason I won’t turn, I have control and I have focus, the ramblings on the shadows, is just that ramblings. They Walk around claiming they’re free but they far from free, you know what they are like they’re like a cult…. But yeah ‘free’ you know what pisses me off they’re like a light is to a moth, new people come to the city and flock en masse to this already huge faction, but we carry. I. Carry on cause it is all I can do.



So yeah I had Beans on toast today, one of the many luxuries Angus brings me from the mainland when he drops off new arrivals, I opened the can and let the beans hit the pan there was an instant sizzle, pesti came out wearing a shirt that was about a million sizes too big but it looked good, she asked if she could steal some, I said she could, she ate in her room, I ate on the balcony, watching the world walk by below me. I fucking love stuff ‘on toast’.


I went on Ktox today, and just started mouthing off, I had my beer I had my bro and my girl and we had a good time, it’s been … quiet in the family everyone just keeping themselves to themselves. I do it for attention, the Ktox thing people love listening and I love entertaining them, I Bash the shadows on purpose when in Ktox HQ I know one or more will come and give it the big un. I LOVE it, Kaira and Blueray come in after having become shadows.


Kaira Diesel, that made me somewhat sad, i…. I hate seeing her dancing to they’re beat, but she has made her choice. She starts to speak to collin, trys to attack him, I tell them that its enough “Dance, sit or fuck off!” I say, I cant be dealing with the shit im still not right about Monday, but fuck it.


Blueray Darkes, she was happy drinking dancing, all smiley that she is now back where she belongs, I really don’t care, she can do what she likes I have no time for shadows, bar Pestilence.


So Kaira states that she is going to fuck Collin up after my set and so I decide to text her telling her to leave it and I will try and look out for her prowlers. She smiles at this and sends me a text. She has not fallen all the way, just from reading her reply I won’t put it in these pages out of respect, but I believe she … well.. Fuck it I don’t know … well see.


I sort out the collin/kaira situation and head home; I put my head on the pillow and out I go… cheese on toast tomorrow.