Post 22: The deepest of wounds.

Dear diary,


I've fought monsters, ive fought Demons, ive fought vampires ive fought everything.  I have my scars to prove it. The brightest of silver, the most serrated edge couldnt have cut me any deeper then she has.  Ive been tortured for 6 months straight over and over so much so that my very soul is scarred but its nothing compared to what she has done to me.


Lies.... all lies... a fabrication that i so idiotically followed like a little lamb bleeting following the shephard, i mean what the fuck?  Apparently the curse was just an experiment by Calleigh to see how far she could push me.  Strange seems like everyone wants to take me down, watch me fall go mad/insane.  I dont know man,  theres only so much i can take you know, joenta Breaking my wrists, sacrificing Tora. Calleigh experimenting on me these so called friends arent looking very friendly.

You know the shower in the hotel, i love that thing reletivly hot water, a pit of privacy, a massive escape i went there after talking to calleigh, i just stood there letting the water wash away everything a moment of serenity and peace in an other wise non stop life, being a knight, being a wolf constant battle... its good to.  i found my self weak and fell to my knees in there hands against the tiled wall i just couldnt get up, left the water running and leant against the wall.

i dont know...

i dont know...

Story: A touch of destiny Pt 1

**A story im working on, if you want to be included drop me an IM and ill write you in**


**The scene begins on top of the port authority, a figure stands watching the city, he has long white hair, a mask over his eyes and a staff in his hand that is wrapped with vines, his body is pitter pattered with scars and blemishes. He raises his staff and strikes it on the roof. The scene switches to a feline and a human walking up the stairs.


The human begins ‘don’t be nervous the old wolf has a soft spot for felines, he will be fine with you’ the feline girl seems nervous as they ascend the stairs ‘how.. how does he know who I am, ive only just been here a day..’ the human male stops on the stairs ‘ hun, the old wolf makes it his business to know whos who and whats what… don’t worry…seriously..’ the human smiles and they continue, they come out on the roof of the building Martko watches the city but doesn’t turn merely states..’Malcolm, is this the feline I requested to see…’ Malcolm bows slightly ‘yes old wolf’ Martko Smirks ‘ I knew your father Malcolm he gave me that blasted nick name…gaia bless him’ Mart raises a hand and motions the kitten forward she moves with a unfettered grace towards him, ‘child’ Martko begins as he points out with his staff ‘Do you see this piss ridden hole in front of us …. This is your new home….welcome…. my name is Martko and I will watch over you, if there is anything you need or anyone giving you grief let me or Malcolm over there know’ Martko motions with his hand ‘That is all child.’. The Feline blinks a few times and shrugs as she turns, Martko brings his staff up and sweeps her legs from underneath her as she hits the floor mart presses the end of his staff into her chest ‘first rule little one, never turn your back on anyone’ he looks up ‘Malcolm show her the exit…’ Malcolm takes her by the hand and leads her out.

 A few moments later Malcolm comes up the stairs as Martko watches the feline leave the port authority… ‘Malcolm Send a team of three to attack her.’ Malcolm looks shocked ‘Mart are you sure’ Martko turns around ‘if we are to know if she is the one the book foretold we need to stress her to the point where her powers will unlock ...’ Malcolm furrows his brow ‘who should I send.. .’ Martko muses a moment ‘Send….. the Elite.’ Malcolms face drops Martko sees this and responds ‘don’t worry Malcolm I will watch her and make sure they don’t hurt her too much but this is …. Destiny old friend…’ with that Martko raises his staff and starts to chant he brings it down on the roof and a green shockwave erupts from it … the scene shifts to the graveyard as 3 figure start to step out of the trees around, look at each other nod and move off into the city…

Post 21 : twisted Mirror

**There are blood spatters all over this page**

Dear Martko,

Did you enjoy my gift to you this weekend, did you revel in the hurt and pain i caused, did you mmmmmmmmmmmmmm Enjoooyyyyyyy yourself.... hmmm?  The nurse in cramps created me righteous boy and Calleigh unlocked me againnnnnnn......Tora smelt... wonnnnderous.  Ill bet your sitting her all pissy, crying like a big emo baby... wahhh wahhh grow a spine you idiot. See the pain i caused in just 2 nights of freedom do you SEE do you ....remember.... i know you do, going to cut yourself emo boy? hmmm?

take a knife and carve those victims into your chest.... doooo it..... ive seen you let go WOLF boy....i saw you plunge that knife into Lumis heart....no regret no remorse .... it was glorious martko.....gloorrrius.... That bitch wanted to take something from you... that bitch said she killed some one you loved ... and you dealt with it.....daddy would be proud no?

Bye Martko.... i sure ill be out again sooner then you think...'Righteous Knight'


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAH
HJAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**the haha's continue down the remainder of the page...untill*

Riiiinnnnngaa riiinnnngaaa rossssseees a pocket full of posies,
Shhhhhhhhh, shhhhhhhhhh
Evils. on. its way.

Post 20: welcome back.

Dear Diary


Sorry Diary, id lost you for a bit, must have kicked you under the bed at some point......... i don't know what to say really lots of things have happened in your absence, i just dont want to do it anymore.  Things weigh heavy on my mind.  The vision i had a couple of nights back after my fight with blueray rocked me....


i was on a shattered plain, surrounded by a mass of demons, my family were there as where the righteous all fighting for theyre lives.  After the hoard had dispatched my friends and family as i looked on helpless, they proceeded to move on me. they attacked me over and over for hours untill i heard a roared, whispers through the crowd about the leader... master... i look up and see myself... a cross strapped to my Antoinette luminos strapped to it.


The Dark times of my life have been really dark, but killing Lumi... im not going to justify what i did... i took her life i watched her eyes dim as i slid that knife into her heart.....i felt her go limp underneath me.  People say wolves are monsters, savage, primal ..... im none of those.. i made a mistake...


Im sorry...


I look in the mirror what do i see?
a Monster a man a layed out destiny.


i look in the mirror what do i see
A champion of Gaia looking back at me.


i look in the mirror what do i see
a murderer a darkness taking over me.


i look in the mirror what do i see
a father a brother a heros destiny


what do i see when the mirror is shattered
My life and my soul lying in tatters.


Help.... me..........please.......

post 19: i hate this fucking city.... and barbwire dildos.

Dear Diary,



Today was spent for the most part chilling with my dearest Tora, she’s taken to being a guardian quite well, she makes a comment about catnip making felines want to take it in the arse… wellllll ill have to try that out!


Anyway near the evening we meet Blueray by the weapons, im still in a bad mood really from Monday and I just get madder and madder as she hammers on and on, about the FUN the shadows like to have… I decide to just leave and goto the psyc ward in the hospital and sit in one of the padded rooms, these places are funny for me, they hold such fucking bad memories, yet they are the most silent and let you gather your throughts so well, I start to rock on the edge of my own insanity

I fucking hate this city…
I fucking hate this city…
I fucking hate this city…
I fucking hate this city…
I fucking hate this city…
I fucking hate this city…
I fucking hate this city…
I fucking hate this city…
I fucking hate this city…




I repeat over and over its like a fucking mantra to me, then I hear her, she’s found me, Blueray, again with her A…fucking…gain I think to myself, why wont she leave me alone, she talks through the grate to me, and if im being honest I was expecting her to lock me in and walk but she says shes suffered too, I motion her in and tell her to sit, and she does. I’ve seen the spring in her step and a glint in her eye, ever since she returned home, she seems truly happy for being back in the house.


She tells me of her family, her twin brother and her life before tox, I offer her a chocolate bar I was saving for Calleigh in case she was hungry again, she looks shocked when I do this but eats it any way.


Diary there is a moment in battle, where the monsters your fighting for a brief moment become human, The Nazis and the Allies playing football on Xmas day shit like that, this moment when she was telling me of her past I saw a different Miss Darkes, Shes been fucked by this city …. HARD…. The stuff that has happened to her, the darkness that has tainted her, you want the truth diary, I like blueray, not in a eww lets catch a movie and make out kind of way, I think like is the wrong word actually, I respect? Blueray, I Understand? Blueray. I really don’t know.


She loves her family, and for good reason, they have saved her over and over and over, of course she loves them….and ive found the word… I RESPECT that.



**Martko walks home and walks into the apartment, pesti is zonked out on the sofa, he shakes his head and puts his coat over her to make sure shes not cold. He smiles … as he goes into his room and closes the door, his head hits the pillow and out he goes, the scene shifts to a purple hazey vision, Martko is seen walking up the stairs of the pit, slowly each foot fall resonating around like a hammer on a bell, he gets to the top and a dark cloaked figure is standing there. The Figure begins “ Swoooordss.. such a pleasure…what brings you here ?” Martko looks up “you know what ive come for Demon… Let me pass, im taking her back …” he goes to move past the figure but is stopped by it, and pushed off the steps.

 martko impacts the concrete below as the dark figure leaps through the air landing on top of him, its hood flops back to reveal bluerays face, mart struggles underneath her as she raises a hand and jams it into his gut she leans down as a black ichor starts to run over his body engulfing him, as the blackness moves into his mouth the last thing Martko hears is .. “Embrace the darkness” blue pulls her hand out of him and licks his blood off her hand .
Martko Bolts up right in bed.. “holy fuck shit…” his face and body covered in sweat.. he falls back looking at his door, he puts both hands over his eyes… and just lies there not wanting to sleep again ..

Post 18: The inner beast?!

Dear Diary,



So Anyhow I get up and me and Collin decide to go crazy loco, we start running around Shaynee Xi from the shadows, being all well, mental. She goes inside and we decide to crip on the Pit roof. We dance, we have a laugh its good just to let go.


We grab a crate of beanie babies… pink elephant beanies to be exact, so we take the create to the bottom of the pit stairs, Shay appears at the top and we hide it, Who knows what we were going to do with those beanies, but were caught red handed Collin vanishes, and leaves me too it.

I create Shay a flower, she seems appreciative of it, Mikayla doesn’t and storms off in a huff, Me and Shay exchange pleasantries till Vitalia appears behind me, the fallen angel who poisoned me to teach me a lesson when I was a feline… A LESSON, oh my god, it gets me mad just thinking about it. It makes me laugh it does, really that they hold all other life in disregard apart from the houses?! What the fuck…. Fuck it any how… Im invited into the pit… Well this is a new one on me, shay invites me in and Mikayla is dangling from some device in the ceiling, she sees me and gets all huffy again and walks off; don’t know what I have done to her but meh im sure shell get over it.


So im in the PIT! It smells, and its hot, not the ideal place, shadows start to surround me, Brianna is the first to join the circle, diary she truly scares the shit out of me, quite literally she is insane to the point that im sure if she put her mind to it she could warp the very fabric of reality around her, quick note not to fuck with her just yet. The Kashgari bops in, Drake, it’s a who’s who of shadows, Shay talks to me about my inner beast they all keep going on about it, they want me to let go, they want me to Go wild, 2 shadows have seen my rage, Blueray and Lumi

--There is a whole paragraph scribbled out, the words not legible at all—

Shay keeps trying to touch me, I fucking hate that, why do they feel the need to touch me, I don’t care for they’re touch I hate the connection I hate the feeling, but obviously she has some sort of deficiency and keeps try, I finally let her and she touches my cheek, she drones on about the shadows finally taking over the city, yeah more fun for me to be honest, bring it on. Shay gives me one week to make a decision I have no idea what that decision is, to release my ‘inner beast’ to join them? Do they not realise that I won’t, that I really am not interested in they house, it doesn’t tempt me in the slightest, but they won’t listen, so here’s a brick wall, keep bashing your head against it.


I DJ later that day and Calleigh and Tikamu the prowler drops by, Tikas a Solid person, some one has taken her eye, I ask if I can be of assistance she declines my offer, then I hand Calleigh a note.

Elemental, monster you are not…..i understand….

She goes very mad I don’t know why, I see now how her life was when she was back a human... Tora arrives and the situation bubbles down … when I finish my set I goto bed……….. Sleep…. Even my sleep is invaded by darkness… regret… and…. Cheese on toast… MMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Post 17: Dance,sit or fuck off.

Dear Diary,

Why don’t I just step off, why don’t I just step off the ledge and let the beast that dwells within out, seems like it’s the popular choice nowadays. There is a reason I won’t turn, I have control and I have focus, the ramblings on the shadows, is just that ramblings. They Walk around claiming they’re free but they far from free, you know what they are like they’re like a cult…. But yeah ‘free’ you know what pisses me off they’re like a light is to a moth, new people come to the city and flock en masse to this already huge faction, but we carry. I. Carry on cause it is all I can do.



So yeah I had Beans on toast today, one of the many luxuries Angus brings me from the mainland when he drops off new arrivals, I opened the can and let the beans hit the pan there was an instant sizzle, pesti came out wearing a shirt that was about a million sizes too big but it looked good, she asked if she could steal some, I said she could, she ate in her room, I ate on the balcony, watching the world walk by below me. I fucking love stuff ‘on toast’.


I went on Ktox today, and just started mouthing off, I had my beer I had my bro and my girl and we had a good time, it’s been … quiet in the family everyone just keeping themselves to themselves. I do it for attention, the Ktox thing people love listening and I love entertaining them, I Bash the shadows on purpose when in Ktox HQ I know one or more will come and give it the big un. I LOVE it, Kaira and Blueray come in after having become shadows.


Kaira Diesel, that made me somewhat sad, i…. I hate seeing her dancing to they’re beat, but she has made her choice. She starts to speak to collin, trys to attack him, I tell them that its enough “Dance, sit or fuck off!” I say, I cant be dealing with the shit im still not right about Monday, but fuck it.


Blueray Darkes, she was happy drinking dancing, all smiley that she is now back where she belongs, I really don’t care, she can do what she likes I have no time for shadows, bar Pestilence.


So Kaira states that she is going to fuck Collin up after my set and so I decide to text her telling her to leave it and I will try and look out for her prowlers. She smiles at this and sends me a text. She has not fallen all the way, just from reading her reply I won’t put it in these pages out of respect, but I believe she … well.. Fuck it I don’t know … well see.


I sort out the collin/kaira situation and head home; I put my head on the pillow and out I go… cheese on toast tomorrow.