Post 20: welcome back.

Dear Diary


Sorry Diary, id lost you for a bit, must have kicked you under the bed at some point......... i don't know what to say really lots of things have happened in your absence, i just dont want to do it anymore.  Things weigh heavy on my mind.  The vision i had a couple of nights back after my fight with blueray rocked me....


i was on a shattered plain, surrounded by a mass of demons, my family were there as where the righteous all fighting for theyre lives.  After the hoard had dispatched my friends and family as i looked on helpless, they proceeded to move on me. they attacked me over and over for hours untill i heard a roared, whispers through the crowd about the leader... master... i look up and see myself... a cross strapped to my Antoinette luminos strapped to it.


The Dark times of my life have been really dark, but killing Lumi... im not going to justify what i did... i took her life i watched her eyes dim as i slid that knife into her heart.....i felt her go limp underneath me.  People say wolves are monsters, savage, primal ..... im none of those.. i made a mistake...


Im sorry...


I look in the mirror what do i see?
a Monster a man a layed out destiny.


i look in the mirror what do i see
A champion of Gaia looking back at me.


i look in the mirror what do i see
a murderer a darkness taking over me.


i look in the mirror what do i see
a father a brother a heros destiny


what do i see when the mirror is shattered
My life and my soul lying in tatters.


Help.... me..........please.......